Learning to love yourself: The best tips for healthy self-love

Selbstliebe lernen: Die besten Tipps für eine gesunde Selbstliebe

Why is it hard to love ourselves? Many have trouble loving themselves, but why is that? We constantly need validation from others to make us feel better.

In this post, we explain what self-love is, how you can learn self-love, and what causes a lack of self-love.

the essentials in brief

  • The first step in self-love begins with recognizing feelings and signals from the body. Based on this, the path to self-love is much easier.
  • Mindfulness exercises are there to perceive the inner feelings. Most of the time you are not even aware of them.
  • Analyze your strengths and weaknesses to really know yourself. Often the strengths in particular are left out and thus create a negative image of one's own self-esteem.

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Background: What you should know about learning to love yourself

In the following section we have prepared a guide for you. This should answer the most important questions for you.

How do you learn to love yourself?

Self-love or self-love can be learned in contrast to the other feelings such as hate or anger that arise depending on the situation. Self-love is a long process that cannot be trained overnight. It depends on three important points, such as our own perception, the right way to deal with our feelings and our habits (1).

How does a lack of self-love arise?

People who don't love themselves try other means to find happiness. They start taking drugs in order not to have to perceive the inner feelings. This leads to an addiction to get rid of stress. But it's not just about drugs, people can have eating disorders if they aren't happy with their bodies (2).

Why is it difficult for some people to love themselves?

The basis for a happy life is to love and accept yourself first (8). Some people have a hard time loving themselves. One of the reasons is that they have low self-esteem and are convinced that they are not worthy of being loved. Another reason is that people equate self-love with arrogance and conceit. But self-love has nothing to do with it (3).

Why is it important to love yourself?

Self love is very important in life. People who love themselves value themselves greatly and feel valuable. This gives them a healthy aura. It also makes you appear much more self-confident because you have confidence in yourself. This is not only an advantage in private life, but also in professional life.

Woman hugs herself

Start loving yourself by telling yourself something nice. (Image source: De'Andre Bush/ Unsplash)

Lack of self-love also leads to dissatisfaction with your life. This affects the psyche, as one is easily attacked, jealous and hurt. In addition, there is often a tendency to quarrel. All this also has a negative impact on the relationship (4).

How do you learn to accept yourself?

To answer the question of how to learn to accept yourself, it is important to find out what self-judgments you have. Then you should check them. For example, if you think that you won't be loved at work until you're successful, then you should ask yourself if that's really true.

The problem is that we were taught that from a young age. We have to do something to be rewarded for it. So it is not easy to accept yourself overnight (5).

Learn self-love: The best tips for healthy self-love

Many wonder how to love yourself without coming across as conceited or narcissistic. There are people who accept themselves naturally and others have to learn to accept themselves.

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5 tips on how to learn self-love

Here are five tips to help you love yourself.

positive praise

The first thing you should do every day, either in the morning or before you get up, is two to five minutes. During this time you should think about what you would like to achieve. Tell yourself well. You should also be aware of what you have already achieved. In addition, it is also important to analyze what strengths you have, why your fellow human beings like you, what makes you special. Summarize all of this in your mind.

Get rid of the inner criticism

When you take the first step, you will certainly notice that from time to time you hear an inner criticism. The inner criticism tries to talk you into negative things. Don't let your inner voice influence you. You should convince yourself that you can still do it. The more you do it, the less you hear the inner criticism.

be your best friend

You probably know it yourself, when your best friend is in trouble, you try to analyze the problem and find a solution. You should therefore treat yourself as if you were your best friend (6).

Avoid negative influences

Don't be influenced by people who have negative attitudes. It will help you to hang out more with people who are positive.

new hobbies

Try something new like meditation, exercise, or even dance. Yoga, ballet, cycling, fitness , jogging , swimming and Pilates are particularly suitable for this. Just try out which sport you like best (7).


From an early age we have been told that in order to be appreciated, we must first achieve something. Therefore, it is difficult for us to love ourselves after failures. Encourage yourself and ignore your inner criticism.

Learning to love yourself is a long process that cannot be learned overnight. You should therefore not let yourself be put under pressure.


  1. Susanne Schuhmann, Brigitte, Learning to love yourself: 6 practical tips. Source
  2. Süddeutsche Zeitung, Patterns in Mental Illness, January 5, 2016. Source
  3. diepsyche.de, Instructions for more self-love: how to learn to love yourself. Source
  4. Zoi Theofilopoulos, VIACTIV Krankenkasse, SELF LOVE – AND WHY IT IS SO IMPORTANT, 09/11/2020. Source
  6. Dominic Zimmermann, foodspring, 7 tips for more self-love. Source
  7. Dominic Schmidt, Focus Online, Learning to love yourself: The 7 best tips for loving yourself, 12/18/2018. Source
  8. mindhelp, 9 warning signs that you can't love yourself. Source
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